Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
