I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
