I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
