he puts the penis in happiness.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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