I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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