i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
