Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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