Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
