I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
