It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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