the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
