He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
