And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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