he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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