I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
