People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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