??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
