do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Bring me that man meat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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