The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just gift wrapped bread.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
