u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
