If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
