WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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