There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In other news, I just burned my penis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Pooping to opera.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
