last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
