Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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