Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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