last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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