we have officially lost it.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
