I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
