Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize