So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize