i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize