You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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