another moral hangover. fuck.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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