my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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