I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
