is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
