I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This house was built for laser tag.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize