Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
