I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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