we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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