So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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