there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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