Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
