Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
