The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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