I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
