Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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