i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
