The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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