this beer tastes like vomit already
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
