their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize