Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
