Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize