Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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