is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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