Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As shirtless as possible
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
