Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
