i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
