Sry I called you an 8
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
