Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
