Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
