So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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