Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
