she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
