Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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