He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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