idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
