That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
