we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
