If i come over, it means nothing
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
