you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
