I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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