Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
