I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
