I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
