carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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