Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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